2004-01-13 - 11:49 a.m.

Well. 63 days. That’s embarrassing. Sorry. I have been thinking about all of you, and truly have been wanting to let you know what is going on with me, but the amount of time that I have been in front of a computer without a buttload of work to do has been extremely minimal these days. Over and above all of that, I have been deeply and actively in love for the last two and a half months with the most magnificent woman I have ever met. Most of the time I am not actually with my Love is spent grinning, daydreaming, mooning about, staring into space with a blissful expression, singing love songs under my breath, and other activities that make Those Not In Love gag and look away in horror.

More recently, I have been busy at home. My sister fell on the ice last week and sustained quite a bad injury (a complicated wrist fracture), which required rather intensive surgery (a pinning apparatus on her arm and a bone graft from her hip). I spent all of last week caring for her intensively at home until I finally had to call my mother for help. My mom arrived on Friday, and things are getting significantly better. I think Lia is still in a lot of pain and it is difficult to not be able to do anything about that. She goes back to the doctor this Thursday for some assessment, and to have stitches removed. Hopefully, we’ll know more about her recovery prognosis after that appointment. It is so much more stressful than I imagined it would be. Being someone’s primary care provider is so much work—so stressful, sad, exhausting and complicated. I am learning about myself and my relationship with Lia as well as my entire family through the process of trying to do this well. There is more to all of that than I could possibly write here, but it is definitely important and positive for me. Interestingly, I am learning most about how to take care of myself than anything else. My Love is being the greatest help with her insight, eloquence, and perceptiveness.